Welcome back to this week's edition of dear gracious this woman needs help.

The confession for this week came to me as I was folding and putting away our laundry. See I have a dresser and hubby has a dresser. So let's count, that's 4 big and 3 small drawers all to myself. And when all my clothes are clean, I can not shut the drawers all the way without something getting stuck.

The true confession though is that the stuff in the bottom 1/2 of the drawers, it.never.moves. As in-I never wear it. I have some big old t-shirts with holes or stains I just can't give up, but those I WEAR (only to bed or around the house, I swear). I realized when folding that many of these t-shirts are older than my kids. I know this because they are dated. 'Cause I'm classy like that. There is a red Old Navy 4th of July shirt from the year Brooke was born. There is a Jimmy Buffett Parrothead Party shirt from 2000. And a Beach House on the Moon Buffett concert t-shirt I bought when pregnant with Breanna in 1999. But the pièce de résistance is the Theta Chi 'Decline of Western Civilization' shirt from February 29,1992.

So if that's the crap I actually wear, then what is the stuff just taking up space? It's too small, too big or a hopelessly ugly gift. Dates on shirts, tacky, who? Why don't I throw out some of the spacing sucking clothes? The truth? Too much work. It's gotten to the point that anything new I buy I hang in the closet. Um, yeah, the closet, we'll save that for a whole 'nother confession.

Now it's your turn. Do you have a classy clothes collection? Or laundry everywhere but where it belongs? Come on fess up people. Don't leave me hanging.

Photo Contest at writefromkaren.com

No not me Karen. But how could I pass up a summer photo contest hosted by another Karen? Obviously, I can't, so here's my entry.

My favorite part of summer...
Sunset at the Beach

Voting begins on her site at 5:00 p.m. U.S. central time August 2nd.
Don't worry I'll remind you.

*click on her cute little graphic above to get rules and check out the other entries.

Not Winning Mother of the Year was the very first blog on my roll and this week she shared the love with me. A big thank you shout out to Sharpie! She totally made my day.

And now it's my turn to pass on the red puffy hearts. Here are just a few of the many blogs I love to read.
The Jason Show
Domestic Spaz
Vintage Thirty
Juggling Life
Just Expressive
Motherhood is Not for Wimps
Bad Mom

Memoirsofamommy.com says The rules of this award are: SHARE THE LOVE!!! Share this award with all those blogs out there that you love. All the people who make you smile. All those that make you laugh. All those that make your day. All those that leave uplifting comments on your blog. **All I ask, is that you include a link to this post with the award and ask your recipient to do the same**

So let's all play by the rules and pass on the warm fuzzies to more bloggers!

This week's words are brought to us courtesy of the adorable Tink at Pickled Beef.

Temporary & Permanent

The girls and daddy in front of the Tower of Terror, Disney Hollywood Studios
A permanent reminder of their temporary terror.

Next week why don't you play with us? Come on you know you want to!

So you were warned long ago about our missing gene. You know the one for child friendly family fun. Just so you understand, it's not fun we don't like, it's the version of fun that includes sitting on the freakin floor watching a puppet show that we do not enjoy.

Yes, we know, there are rides there... um, woo?! Think about it, we stood in line for an hour to ride what is a essentially a, minute or less long, carnival ride they add excitement to by putting it in the dark, and creating a story around it. Not to say the rides weren't fun, they were, but I'm not exaggerating about the hour long lines. AT.ALL.

I think our friends expressed our lack of love for all things Disney best yesterday while marveling at the huge crowds of sweating people all waiting in line for something. Only Disney can charge $70 for the opportunity to shop. That my darlings is Disney in a nutshell.

So that's what we did yesterday, we spent our day at Disney Hollywood Studios. And yes, we had fun damnit. And the girls had a blast. But the friends we spent part of our day with have an 18month old daughter. Let me just take this chance to publicly thank Pete that my youngest is 5 years old! I love our friend's little girl, she is adorable, happy, loving and has chubby thighs you just want to eat up. But baby I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and some days I just want to run to it. My girls totally love fast rides, the bigger and scarier the better, and that kind of fun is much more suited to this mom and dad. Unfortunately the little one is still too short for the really big rides, although, she does have her extra special big shoes she wears to amusement parks to make her tall enough to ride. They didn't help much yesterday, but sometimes they make the difference between leaving at least one parent out of the fun and everyone sticking together.

Also, to be filed under this oh so appropriate heading. We left the tickets at home yesterday. Oh yes. We did.
And yes, we've done that before... about 15 years ago we were headed to Gator Growl and got halfway through Orlando when we realized we left all the tickets at home. Well, at least we hadn't gottent all the way to Gainesville before we noticed.
Now back to yesterday. We woke up, got dressed and ate breakfast. Even remembered to throw in the camera. Don't be looking for pictures, I apparently had 2 sets of dead batteries, yeah, just how my day was rolling. Keep reading it stays that good all morning. We drive the 45 minutes to the hotel our friends are staying in. Locate the self parking, walk through the entire hotel and meet said little family. It is only when they say, lets head to the counter to buy our tickets that hubby and I start the"I thought you had the tickets", "OMG you must be joking" volley.

No, no one was joking. Where were the tickets? In our bedroom safely tucked away. See they don't check your id when you enter a park, only when you purchase the tickets, so they are essentially free tickets to Disney (now with 2 days left on them) if someone steals them or they get lost. So I keep them at home not on my person. Sometimes I apparently am capable of outsmarting myself!

I vounteered for the drive 45minutes home and 45 minutes back while hubby and the girls had a long leisurely 2nd breakfast with our friends. Carbon footprint, what? I sure as hell wasn't buying more tickets, all I cared about was that the $20 half tank of gas was way cheaper than new tickets!

Oh and I have one more so funny it hurts incident to add to the game of "How much more fun could this day be?" While driving back after picking up the tickets, that did I mention 2 dumbass adults completely forgot at home? I heard the radio station DJ announce he was giving away 4 free tickets to Wet-n-Wild. So I called. And get this. They picked up and I heard the distinctive DJ voice yelling "Mix 105 you are the 9th caller. What's your...." No SHIT, I kid you not, my cellphone friggin lost service. Oh, YES.IT.DID! In hindsight it was probably better I didn't win, because just what I need is more tickets to forget at home!

Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. ~Sam Keen

with Total Drama Island
Seriously. Have you people seen this show? How did I not know about it until this week? And hubby and the kids saw it before me?

It's a spoof of every reality show I watch down to elimination camp fire with the Jeff Probst look-a-like animated host. My kids think it's funny, but me? I was about to PEE.MY.PANTS over the final marshmallow ceremony complete with walking the dock of shame, boarding the boat of losers, and leaving the island for-ev-ah. OMG I am way to excited about this show. I so need a life.

It's on Cartoon Network on Thursday nights at 9 p.m. EST . Plus it's a marathon right now. And I am sure again a million more times during the week, just like everything on Cartoon Network. And when tonight's episodes are over I am so going to play online myself.

Today's true confession is a two parter.

First, I have been known to curse like a drunken sailor and yes, I kiss my mother with that mouth, thank you very much. These days I have toned it down quite a bit since my heyday as a sorority girl. Trust me those sweet bows we wore in our hair were false advertising; drinking, swearing and burping contests were high on our list of extracurricular activities.

Of course now most of my choice words are reserved for places without little ears. And I have almost completely switched friggin and freakin for the f-word. However, sometimes, damn it something sneaks out and I don't even realize it. Oh crap, just like that. Later I hear my words repeated in sweet tiny little voices and I know they learned them from me because my hubby doesn't have a potty mouth.

Here's the second part of the confession other than hearing them use Jesus or God as an expletive I can't help but be hella proud when they use swear words in context. Like when Breanna at the tender age of 4 exclaimed "damn it I can't get my shoe on" I was impressed. And I couldn't help but laugh out loud last week when Brooke said "I can't get this freakin thing on her" while trying to dress her Polly Pocket. When questioned about the word she told me "I say freakin when I am angry with something".

PROFANITY - you're doin' it right.

Anybody got a friggin confession this week? Come on, share damn it! Oh shit, there I go again!

A Quickie!

I got home from my fun reunion (way more on that to follow) and not only was my house still standing and kids alive... my house was CLEAN and there were FRESH baked chocolate chip cookies here to greet me and my friend! DUDE! I'm just so proud of my little family I could cry! My oldest said I should leave more often, I think because she got to stay up late, without her little sister, and watch PG 13 Harry Potter flicks with dad. But my baby said no more leaving for mommy. Ahh, just the right amount of missing and independence from them, maybe I should have a few more girl's weekends.

Now I'm off to edit out all my wrinkles from my pictures and leave everyone else looking their age. Cue evil laughter now. Bwhaa-ha-ha!

C'mon, Dad's in charge now, you can... eat candy for breakfast, sleep in, wear shoes in the house, it'll be great!-- Cheaper by the Dozen

On the West Coast: Gi'me a Holler... for BLOGHER!
And on the East Coast Representin': My 20th High School Reunion! *Jazz Hands*

Now Bring it On!

BlogHer: I could lie about my age.
Reunion: All those old farts graduated the same year I did.
Advantage BlogHer

BlogHer: Small talk with people I've never met.
Reunion: Small talk with a bunch of people I've pretty much forgotten.

BlogHer: Sharing a hotel room with new friends.
Reunion: Sharing hotel room with one of my bestest friends since high school.
Advantage Reunion

BlogHer: Drinking with no kids to worry about for a whole weekend.
Reunion: Drinking with no kids to worry about for a whole weekend.

BlogHer: Beautiful CA.
Reunion: Beautiful FL.

BlogHer: Requires plane ticket, cross country flight and jetlag.
Reunion: Stop at airport to pick up friend then drive 2 hours to the beach.
Advantage Reunion

Blogher: New clothes for a great first impression.
Reunion: Clothes from my closet. Let's face it the last time I saw most of these people I was in horrendous 80s fashion. And I totally have better hair now, thank you Pete for inventing the flat iron.
Advantage Reunion

BlogHer: Chance to meet some of my favorite bloggers IRL dudes!
Reunion: I believe I already mentioned I've gone 20 years without seeing most of these people. Let's remember I still live in the same state. This.would.be.by.choice.people.
Adavantage BlogHer

BlogHer: New friends to blog about when I get back.
Reunion: Reminiscing about the good old days and blogging about it when I get back.

BlogHer: Urban legend whispers of makeovers, massages and morning yoga.
Reunion: Whispers about how fat and/or bald other people have become.
Advantage BlogHer

They both sound like fun so I'm going to call this one a draw!

Stay tuned for highlights Monday after I get home from my Girl's Weekend. It may not be BlogHer, but it's gonna be hella fun!

My confession this week?

Hubby is officially unemployed. The boss man says there ain't no more money.

And why is this a confession? Well, we've known for a few weeks and just told our own families in the past few days.

For one we needed to wrap our heads around the fact that it was really happening. And for the love, what were we going to do next? First, we went on that lovely vacation I posted pictures from. Oh yes we did! The cottage was already paid for in full and we had to feed everyone whether we were at the beach or at home. Plus, when hubby starts a new job there may not be any vacation time for awhile. And then there will be a getting back on our feet period (dear lord, please let it be short) which will mean scrimping and saving, no vacations included.

We also didn't say anything because we saw this coming like a freight train and are a bit embarrassed that we trusted that rat bastard (how I hate the boss man is enough for a whole 'nother post). He had assured everyone that once the new contract was signed they would get paid. However, he has lied like a dog (for so long he has fleas) about why all the paychecks have been late since April. Yeah, yeah, we know, apparently we chose to ignore that big red button flashing "Danger Will Robinson". And Brian has been poking around about a new job since then, but the checks eventually showed up with big promises and we would forget about the hassle until the next payday. Then the shit hit the fan, he didn't know when the next check would come in, but everyone would be rewarded for sticking around when it did. That's when the rats started scurrying and we knew the ship was going down.

Bottom line: What does this mean? That hubby and most of the guys in his small company worked for a month and never got paid. The boss didn't admit until almost payday that there was no money. Of course he didn't fire anyone, or dissolve the company. That left them with no choice but to quit. Anyone familiar with unemployment benefits knows this means they are not guaranteed to receive anything. Yes, that possibly sucks the hardest.

Mostly I hadn't said anything here because, well Tessie at Messing with Texas said it quite well in her divorce post "In my world, if you have something serious to talk about, and you can't make a joke about it or keep a stiff upper lip, then you just shut the fuck up. No One Wants To Hear That Shit, and all that." So yeah I guess I felt like posting anything about it would make me sound like I was asking for sympathy, oh woe is me.

So to recap, it sucks.

But it's not the end of the world. And hey it's sure to lead to some blogger fodder.

Be looking forward to such fun post topics as:
Insomnia or Nervous Tummy: You make the call.
We Could Travel to Europe on the Credit Card Points We Will be Wracking Up: Too bad we can't afford to eat when we get there.
No Mommy Can Not Ride the Hot Sweaty Bus on a Field Trip with You: Karma kicked my ass and now I have a JOB!
How to Not Kill Your Spouse While You are Both at Home with No Jobs and No Money: A he said she said piece. (okay that may have to wait until this all passes over, because right now, not so funny)
Shit You Can Sell on eBay to Pay the Mortgage: No honey, mommy doesn't know where your American Girl dolls are.
Count Your Blessings: At least we weren't pigs in the housing heyday and will not be forced to short sale our house no matter how bad things get.

Brought to you by the lovely Tink
Words for this week are Sign and Graffitti

This sign might as well be graffitti.
Who has a sign like this made to put in their window?
Just cracks me up, this is the one claim to fame this restaurant has. Don't get me wrong, the food was great. And this is the place my youngest actually tried something new with no hesitation. The inside is as horribly tacky tourist as the outside seems it would be and we loved it!

And as special bonus I have tried out Picasa and made a slide show with a few of our vacation photos. Okay, there are like 30+ of them, but that's less than the 500 or so I took, count yourselves lucky people!

For the Lookee Lous there are more pictures on Picasa.

Stephanie over at Bad Mom (Don't ya think she should change it to Bad Ass Mom?) made my day.

So I'd like to say a big thank you to Stephanie for my purty new award. And because I am truly a product of the 80s this has been going through my head all day.

You Are Welcome.

Of course no bloggy award is worth having if you can't share it with your friends. So I am passing this one on to the following 10 bloggers, some make me laugh, some make me cry and many truly inspire me.

Tessie at Messing With Texas
Elizabeth at Motherhood is Not for Wimps
Raven at Just Expressive
Laura at I Promise Not to Laugh at the Seance
Tink at Pickled Beef
The Girls Next Door at Next Door 2 My Ex
Suz at Busy Bee
Kira Joy at Lacking Productivity
Gary at Potter's Blog
Kristen at Mommy Needs a Cocktail

Now go out and share the joy with the blogosphere!

My not minding the prison grade toilet paper and paper towels on vacation but not being able to tolerate them in my own home?

My child who tastes NOTHING we make willingly eating lots of cracked fried conch on vacation and cuban barbeque pork at a party?

Those damned VH1 top 100 shows? Subliminal messages, anyone? Today I flipped to top 100 teen stars and I.could.not.turn.it.off.

Flickr? Really is it the best thing going? I don't see anything that wonderful, new or exciting about it. Hubby says I should try give Picasa a try. Hell, I love me some google, guess I'll see what they have to offer. If you use one or the other, let me know the draw for you.

My lack of inspiration to post about our wonderful vacation? I took about 500 photos. Hmmm, Flickr I think I should be looking at you here.

BlogHer? Really, I have a very vague idea of what it is, but I'm afraid to look too closely 'cause then I might be jealous I can't go.

Reruns? Can anyone tell me why I can see Little House on the Prairie practically any day of the week, but Eight is Enough seemingly no longer exists? And Friends, dear gracious any time of day, but Party of Five, disappeared?

Brangelina? Thank Pete she finally had those babies. Now, can we forget about them, for like EVAH?

My Reunion being less than a week away? Where did the time go?

My head hurts. That's it for my Deep Thoughts today.

On the Cheap

Warning: if you find yourself nodding in agreement with Kate when she says "I don't care how much fun it is, you don't have to do the laundry", well you might want to skip this one. I will be laying out a drop cloth in the garage for this... nuff said.

So I haven't actually done this project with the girls yet. I am purposely saving it for a really bad day. Because it has the potential to keep my little people from harming each other and therefore keeping me from drinking alone.

I bought both girls a $5 corkboard from IEKA. Now all we need is paint, glue, jewels, scraps of beautiful fabric, and possibly some shells from vacation. Maybe if I'm feeling really daring permanent markers and the glue gun!

I'm also saving this for closer to school starting because I plan on hanging them in the hall beside their doors to tack up good grades, calendars and cute pictures they make.

Oh hell, I really haven't done it yet because "I don't care how much fun it is, you don't have to do the laundry" or clean up after them! But they will love it, it will occupy a lot of their time and since we have all the supplies already it's a perfect stand by.

No man needs a vacation so much as the person who has just had one. ~Elbert Hubbard


I See You!

Okay, I've been gone for a week, so I thinks to myself, "Self, I should check my stat counter for shits and giggles."And I see that Snake and the other Gypsies in the Palace, kept an eye on things for me while I was gone. Thank you kindly.

Know what else I found? No less than 20 (so far, just TODAY) different people searching for this quote, "Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says..." and finding my Movie Quote Meme. And these people are from all over world! Was there some cyber treasure hunt for obscure quotes I was not aware of today? Wait, is it Judd Nelson's birthday? What? I give up. Can someone please tell me the sudden interest in this half joke? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?

Guess what else I discovered? I totally lived without those damn stats that were previously driving me bonkers for a whole week ya'll. I think I finally got that monkey off my back. Ooh look a google bot on my page... Addiction, what? Statistic rehab, who?

I have no idea what that's from, but we are home. What a wonderful week we had. Hubby spent the entire drive home planning the the business he wants to open so we can live there FOREVAH.

I survived a whole week with no internet access. My kids lived for a whole week with no Disney, Cartoon, Nickelodeon or PBS channels! Speaking of gettin jiggy wid it, we watched a lot of Fresh Prince, which my kids thought was very funny. Who knew we were so resourceful?

Now I'm at 156 blog posts to read and counting. Hey, there were more than that, but I drained the battery on hubby's phone reading on the way home. Could ya'll do me a favor and just quit posting for a few days while I catch up? Please and thank you.

Come back tomorrow, I promise I'll think of something to post by then. And if we're all lucky it will be coherent.

While we are facing the cold hard facts here at Chez Pete. I'm going to admit that I am lucky to come up with a post a day. Trying to spit out a week's worth all at once, yeah well, I gotta pack at some point. So today I invited Garth over to keep ya'll entertained.

This one's for vacation, because, troubles I've forgot 'em, buried 'em in the sand.

This one is just for me, cause it's my favorite Garth song of all time. And sometimes I do thank God for unanswered prayers.

And this one, this is for you, the few and faithful, my friends in low places. I pink puffy heart you all!
Random flashback. When Hubby and I were first together he lived behind a fraternity house and EVERY Saturday night at 2:00am we would hear this song and know the party was over.

Stick around, I'll be popping in tomorrow. I'll be the tan one with a drink in my hand.

I was thinking I would skip this week's challenge since we are going to be at the beach and me without my internet i.v. I KNOW!

But then tonight (I'm writing this Wed, and with the amazing power of blogspot I am able to travel to the future and post this) my amazingly sweet hubby of 14 years presented me with my anniversary present. The *traditional gift for 14 years is ivory, as in the tusk of an elephant. Apparently that traditional list is very old. Like from way back when it was LEGAL to kill an elephant in order to make jewelry.

Hubby's gift was way more original than plain old elephant ivory though. He found someplace where he could get Mammoth Ivory. Of course I was very excited about my lovely present. And when I saw the tag I immediately thought, that's my all in one picture for this week's word challenge. Intervention, who?

Here it is, my best entry EVAH!
The words for this week are AGE and BEAUTY.

Who knew the mammoth's were out partying in such cute jewelry?

Check out that tag up close. 10,000 years in the making.
Now that's AGE and BEAUTY right there, homebloys!

To check out other pictures drop by Tink's place and say hi.

*Just in case you were wondering, the modern gift is whoppers and magazines to read on vacation. Which is what hubby got along with a few bars of ivory soap for good measure. And yes I know his gift to me is way better than mine to him. Frankly he always out does me. I'm used to it and don't really try any longer. Um yeah, guess that was obvious.

Let's face facts. The harsh reality is I don't have any readers to spare, so I gotta keep you people entertained. I have written ahead quite a few posts. So many in fact that I thought, I might as well put up something new everyday. Off to youtube I surfed. Being that we are headed to the beach I was thinking something Jimmy Buffett Ish. Ahh, It's 5 O'clock Somewhere with Alan Jackson. I like that song. I click over looking for the code to embed the video and lo and behold "Embedding disabled by request" I can link but not embed. Really? Hmm, now I must further investigate. It is indeed Alan Jackson that has requested we not be able to embed any of his videos. And I noticed he's not the only artist to do so. Well to hell with that.

Instead enjoy some vintage Jimmy. Meanwhile I'll indeed be having a Cheeseburger in Paradise.

No More Tears
I have learned, over the last 7 or so years the whiniest complaint my kids have when it comes to cleaning is that the job is too big. Those tiny little hands and feet are not possibly able to pick up ALL those toys and walk across the room to put them away. It's just toooooo hard, moooommieeeee. Oh I've tried the logical, but you pulled all those toys out, you weren't too little for that arguement. This apparently forces my kids to lie about all the people who helped them make that mess. Brooke likes to blame Drama's youngest, even if she hasn't been to our house in weeks. Hey wait, maybe she did help make this mess, when's the last time we did more than bulldozer in here? When Breanna was a toddler she always answered the question "Who made this big mess?" with "Gogee" who is my friend's son Joey. In Bre's defense his mom was the one who started that game in our house, just because he wasn't there didn't mean she couldn't blame him.

After much yelling, screaming and crying, and that was just me, I came up with the "Cleaning Party" idea. We pick music to play really loud and then we all get to the singing, dancing and cleaning. Afterwards there is usually some sort of sweet treat, hey I said it's a party, so that doesn't count as bribery, right?

Now it's your turn. What are some of the ways you get your kids to help you clean?

But there's booze in the blender,
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville -- Jimmy Buffett

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, That started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship.

The mate was a mighty sailin' man, the Skipper brave and sure.
Four passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour. A three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost. The Minnow would be lost.

Yeah, it was a lot like that.
It was our 3rd Anniversary and we headed up the Florida coast to go scalloping with friends. They had a camper and we had a boat. Kismet. Little did I know that first year that people plan their scalloping trips a year in advance. When checking out families reserved cabins and campsites for the following 4th of July. So when I called a month ahead to get a campsite with water and electricity the nice lady stifled a giggle. Then she did some checking around and decided they could squeeze us in with electricity but no water hookup. But we'd be close to the community bathrooms, would that be okay? Sure I said. Was that another giggle I heard? Nah.

Oh vacation, how did we screw up? Let us count the ways.

Mistake #1 driving up after work. Why? Because that had us arriving in the middle of the night, in the dark, in the boonies. Somehow without jackknifing our boat trailer we found the camp grounds and the office to check in.
Mistake #2 not asking our friends what century the camper they owned was manufactured in. Why exactly did we need electricity hookups? The camper didn't have a/c. JULY in FLORIDA, in a camper that sleeps four, (apparently four people were much smaller in the 1950s), one drooling and barking dog, who was not ours, and one tiny fan. Um yeah, you do the math there.
Mistake #3 asking where the nearest Walmart was. Answer " Up north, near Perry." That was over 1/2 an hour away. Kudos for me though, I realized I asked the wrong question. Not too proud to admit my mistake I headed back to the office and rephrased my question. "Where can we buy a fan?" Answer: "Right down yonder at the Ace Hardware." Thank you Pete!
Sleeping that night was a bit cooler. And hey we were close to the bathrooms, right?
Mistake #4 not clarifying how close we were to the public outhouse. Um yeah, thisclose. We knew the toiletry habits of every friggin camper there. We were also right behind the big family house, where we could see they had their own bathrooms and refrigerator and a/c and a tv and a porch and more than 2 beds in 100 sq. ft and no dog... um where was I?

Day two of our trip. We had masks, snorkels, scallop bags and lunch. Day one was just practice. Today we were ready. We were gonna do this right.
Can you see how friggin sunny and gorgeous it was in that first photo? Uh huh, that's what it looked like when we decided to start the great scallop hunt. Think Easter egg hunt underwater.
Mistake # 5 listening but not hearing the advice we were given by the Sea Hag. When the seasoned veterans tell you to "Follow the other boats" that means follow them, pull up next to them, buy them a drink, put on a condom, and throw out your anchor. Not follow them, give them and the 100 boats they are having an orgy with some space and keep your virginity. There is a reason all those people are rightontopofeachother. Cause that my friends is where the scallops are!
The boys put on their snorkel gear and jumped in the water. Dude, we found one, jump in. Everyone gets in the water, then we all look up and notice, it ain't so sunny anymore. Wow, look at all those dark clouds headed our way. Seems a lot of people are leaving.
Mistake #6 hesitating. Instead of following the other boats we hemmed and hawed and then it.started.to.rain. We decide to head back in, we were the little caboose. Then we see the people in the boat that was next to us, are putting on life jackets. Wimps. Us, pointing and laughing.
Mistake #7 not getting our life jackets from the hatch behind us before we got moving. That picture of my hubby, not a joke. At first it was, we thought it was HI-larious, he needed his mask to see through the rain. Um, not so funny later. I honestly can not remember if we were ever able to retrieve our life jackets.

Here's what I do remember. 15 ft boat in what felt like 10 ft waves, water over the bow of the boat. My friend covered head to toe in a towel refusing to look at what was going on. Her boyfriend bailing the Titanic with a thimble, yeah, just like that, except the thimble was a diving mask. My hubby singing the Gilligan's island theme trying to get us to laugh instead of cry. Watching the bass boat behind us sink and not being able to stop or turn around for fear of the same thing happening to us. We did blow our emergency horn as much as we could to hopefully alert bigger boats nearby to look for them. As fast as the squall came on, it was over. And we had only made it back to the channel at that point. My breakfast? In the Gulf of Mexico. The big joke? I waited until the storm was over before I got sick.

Now you would think the tale of tragedy would end here. But alas there is a bit more. Out boat? She ran out of gas. I shit you not, we are finally safely on our way back to the dock and nothing. We finally flag down someone nice enough to tow us in and they literally cut the rope and let us glide into the beach area without slowing down. I don't think I need to tell you we waited in line to pull the boat out of the water that afternoon. None of us even considered going back out even though it was before noon. We hand cranked that sucker out of the water, seeing as she was on empty.

We spent the remainder of the day watching the Coast Guard tow in boats. We drank. Never saw that bass boat. Drank some more. Listened to all the stories. Heard nothing about the bass boat. Drank a lot.

On our way out of town the next morning we stopped and bought a paper. Only one fatality reported, a woman had a heart attack after their boat capsized. We were still worried about that bass boat. I was just sick to my stomach, and not due to my hangover, thinking about it. So we stopped for another town's local newspaper. And there it was the story of a bass boat that I watched sink. The people were found after someone saw their cooler floating in the water. Thank you God!

Want to hear the kicker? Because the best stories always have a kicker. We went back (9 more years, in fact. Steep learning curve, we conquered it.) And the next year? WE HAD THE BIG HOUSE! But that's a whole 'nother post.

Welcome to this week's edition of True Confessions. This week it's personal. NOT LIKE THAT! My goodness people, get your mind's out of the gutter!

My confession is I HATE to do things alone. Now don't mistakenly think this means I don't like to be alone, because I do, at home, or singing in my car, at the pool, and sometimes I even enjoy shopping alone. But last week I was dropping off the kids at VBS, leaving me 2 hours with just myself and I. Being cheap and poor I wasn't wasting $4/gal gas driving home and back. So, I found myself picking up something in the drive-thru and eating in my car to avoid going into a restaurant all by my lonesome. I had a book and an ipod, so it's not like I would've had to even make eye contact with anyone around. What is WRONG with me? I chose to sit in my car and watch my many episodes of Dexter instead of buying an iced coffee and nursing it in an a/c filled Starbucks. And don't even think I would consider in my wildest dreams going to a movie alone.

So what about you? Got any deep dark secrets you want to share?

Seeing as we are heading out on vacation, I will not be here to moderate your comments. So I'm leaving Word Verification in charge. Please do not let your hatred of her keep you from saying anything! I promise when I get back I'll put everything back where it belongs. But for the next week you all have play nice amongst yourselves. Mmmm-kay?

And I only have time for a quickie.

14 years ago, today, we were getting hitched. And we celebrate every year by taking off for the beach just like we did back then.

So we are getting ready to head out for a week at the beach. We leave tomorrow and we have already lost most of our morning. We did get the girl's laundry folded but you know what that means, we watched tv. A LOT. See I recorded Clean House: Messiest House in America, and it was a 2 hour special. Dear gracious those people make me feel good about my clutter, because at least I can hide mine inside closets and cabinets!

I know, gone for a week, what will you all do? Don't worry, I'll still be here in spirit. With the help of blogger auto posting and a eensy bit of forward planning there will be a few new posts up while we are gone to keep you entertained. And when we get back I'll have lovely beach photos to make ya'll feel like you were right there with us.

But right now, I can't put off the cleaning and packing any longer. So I'll leave you with this fun flashback.

This week's word challenge is brought to you by the letter T.
T is for Tink.
And this week she has chosen Raw & Finished.

Breanna decided she would only submit an entry for FINISHED.

These are 3 books she has finished this year.
That's something like 1200 pages in 6 months, not bad for a 9 year old, huh?

And my entries.
Hard to tell if eggs are RAW or FINISHED boiling.

Hubby fried up some yummy corn chips last night. This is the FINISHED product.

And bonus photos of the storm rolling in last night. RAW footage if you will.

Until next time, homebloys!

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