Got a bee in my bonnet tonight. I just received one of those automated calls from the school district. Seeing as I am an informed parent I almost always know what the call will be regarding when I see the caller id. But tonight I had no idea.

Would you believe it was the school district giving tips on how to avoid getting swine flu? SERIOUSLY? Let me guess, the same way you avoid getting any form of influenza? Or other virus for that matter.
But here's the kicker, you'll love this... My oldest daughter informed me at dinner, before the phone ever rang, that none of the girls bathrooms on the 2nd floor of her school have soap... ever. Have you been in an elementary school lately? Taken a passing glance at the handrails on the stairs? I tell my kids not to touch them, I'd rather they fall than pick up whatever germs are lurking on that thing!
I've got an idea, maybe they should have the automated voice guy go fill the soap dispensers I think that would go much further in the prevention of the spread of swine flu than that damned phone call.

Rant over... I feel much better now. Thanks for "listening".

For those of you who are not my friends on Facebook, and by the way, why the hell aren't you? Whatever the reason you are not privy to my every waking thought, hmm that could explain why.  Anyway, never fear, I am back to catch you up on my life. I KNOW! I am posting more than just thought provoking quote or a story I copied from someone else. I'll wait while you rush to the bathroom to avoid peeing your pants in excitement. Wait... it's just a bullet post, no need to get that paper bag to breathe into.

Proof you can still teach an old dog, here's some crap I have learned recently.

Answering the phone before 8am is a crap shoot.  It could be my boss asking if I could come help that day with a store revision. Where revision means playing Bob the Builder. So I was building, organizing and restocking cards from drop off to pick up of my kids, on one of my scheduled days off. On the flip side maybe the a/c guy coming to do our yearly checkup was available to come EARLY! When does that EVER happen?!

School skate night is entertaining. For all the wrong reasons! Yeah, yeah, watching my kids skate and hang out with their school friends is fun. But watching the older siblings, mainly middle schoolers flirt and dance is way more entertaining. Playing count the inappropriate tattoos and missing teeth is possibly the best game of all. 
Also? Note to skating rink: please stop selling crap that lights up for kids to put in their mouths. Those damned blinking retainers and pacifiers are disgusting. And they scream white trash. Thus all the kids, mine included, want them! Please for the love of Pete at least close the "Pro Shop" on school skate night. And here I have no idea what Pro Shop actually means.

The number of extra days I work is directly proportional to the added amount of mess in my house. Upside is it is also proportionally related to the extra amount of money in my bank account. Between Mother's Day and that 8am phone call I have been at work more mornings than home, thus the house is quickly becoming a disaster area. When there are loads, plural, of DISHES to be done there is trouble. And don't ask me why I am the only one capable of loading and running the dishwasher in this house, I have yet to learn that!

I could never work full time and have little kids, I have an amazing respect for those who juggle it all. I have come to the conclusion that I am missing the multitasking life gene. Actually this is one of those things I have always known. There's even a name for my condition. Damn, what was it again? Oh yeah, PROCRASTINATION!

You can get a lot of crap done just during commercials. Tifaux is possibly not the best invention EVAH after all! Don't get me wrong I sure as hell wouldn't give it up, but sometimes regular viewing actually helps me get more accomplished by splitting a big job up into little bits.

I need to quit finding new blogs to read. By the time I catch up with new posts in my reader I don't have time to write my own posts. Damn there's that procrastination problem again! But really go check out that blog, well written with great pictures. Remember the photographer friend I was asking you to vote in a contest for? It's his site. 

Alright, time to watch some Gilmore Girls and clean the girl's bathroom during commercials. 

“If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.” Hillary Clinton

Bwak, bwak. An Easter story I had to share with ya'll.

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

My friend said, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service!"

The words for this week are awesomely appropriate, thank you Tink.
Translation... it was easy for us procrastinators to throw together a post at the last minute.
Without further ado I give you
Opening and Spring.

You know it's spring when the garden department at Home Depot is packed on a Saturday morning.
We finally (after 6 years here) started an herb garden.
Or as hubby keeps calling it, our recession garden.

Little Miss Brookey picked pink flowers for the flower bed.
Imagine that.
They sure are pretty as they are opening up after yesterday's showers.

The crisp, very un-spring like breeze this morning had our homemade wind chimes singing as I was taking pictures of our gardens.
Last minute entry, who?

Of course the real signs of spring showed up inside my house yesterday.
Brookey was opening all of the eggs hoping for long forgotten candy.
NO, she didn't find any.
I don't know what kind of half-assed house cleaner you think I am.

And with spring of course there must be bunnies.

And nothing says spring like bunnies... in a head of lettuce?
My mom sent theses to the girls. Yes we have two different ones.
Okay, they are kinda cute, and Brookey loves them.
She did all the "decorating" for Easter for me.

My first thought for opening?
I am scared of opening the door to my 10 year old's room for fear of what I might find.

For more...

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