My wife comes downstairs with a broken stick. She throws it on the table and begins to talk out loud to... NOBODY! "Gonna tell me that you're not going to do something when I tell you to do something. I mean you MOVE when I say move! Think I carried you in my body for nine months so you can roll your eyes at me? I'll roll that little head of yours down on the floor. You don't know who you're fooling with. I'll beat you until you can't grow anymore!"-- Bill Cosby: Himself



Yeah, been a lot like that this week.

An Open Letter

To the Parents in the Carline:

I don't know why your precious can not sit on the sidewalk with the other 200+ children and wait for you to drive through and pick them up. Why must you park and walk up to get them? It's a mystery to me. What I do know is that I am not in any way moving or getting out of your way when you are ready to leave and I am still waiting to pick up my child. I'm looking at you dude in the gas guzzling white truck. I'll be damned if I'm letting you screw with the flow of traffic. If you sat here like the rest of us you wouldn't be stuck in that parking space. If we all did as you do, there would be over 200 parents trying to park in 50 spots. Think Open House, wasn't that fun?

And parents who bike with their children to school. Kudos to you. Now get the hell off the street and get on the sidewalk. Mom with the duosport trailer, I see you. If you are waiting on your slow ass child, move over to the grass. And if your child uses more than one hand to show how many they are, meet them at the freakin' corner. They manage to navigate the school all by themselves all day long without you. I think they can get to the crossing guard alone, thus freeing up the valuable sidewalk space for other students and parents of kindergartners.

Hey you, yeah, You! Parent in the first car, who gets to school one hour before dismissal and sets pace for us. What the hell? Do you have nothing better to do with your time? An hour? Really? Is your child that insecure that you couldn't be say, 3rd in line? Or maybe you are watching porn on your ipod? Nosey parents need to know.

Oh and do any of you know who designed our school? The school board or a building committee? No? Well, have you noticed the bike racks on the wrong side of the school? Had they been positioned on south side those bike riders wouldn't have to navigate the sidewalk while the car riders are getting organized and seated. Apparently no one thought to consult me. Too bad, I could've saved everyone this particular pain in the ass.

Last but definitely not least impatient parent behind me in the left turn lane into the school driveway. I do not have the right of way! We are all waiting to pick up our kids. There is no need to honk at me to turn, when there is NO WHERE to go! Simmer down back there already.

The school year is half over, let's work together here people!

From: A mom who is hoping her kids start walking home from school soon.

Still LOST?

I am! Didn't TPTB (the powers that be) say that LOST was going to start wrapping up story lines this season? Well, I've been watching since the beginning and I don't think I know anymore now than I did when those damned people crashed on the island in 2004! Every week I watch hoping for some big reveal. And this week *spoiler alert highlight to read* we find out that Charles Widmore was on the island in the 50s. But hell now that just leads me to a bunch more questions! I'm still watching and holding on to hope that since the end is in sight TPTB will actually wrap up all the loose ends into a fun little package and hand deliver it in the spring of 2010 like they promised. Or perhaps I am really just watching for other reasons.


Namely Desmond.

Sawyer.

Sayid.

And last but definitely not least... Paging Dr. Shepard. Paging Dr. Jack Shepard.

Still I can't help but wonder if the entire story was written in order to come full circle and have a great ending or if since they got renewed for season 2 they have been pulling these stories out of their asses and in the end we're going to get a big fat goose egg? Anyone out there besides me still watching? What do you think?

It's freakin cold here. Note HERE as in, Central Florida. 2 weeks ago I was all taking pictures of my kids playing in the water at the beach and now?! Where'd Mr. Heat Miser go? It's FREEZING! Literally. It is was 31 when I took the girls to school. And now I can see the sun outside, but the heat is still on inside so I know it's barely above freezing outside. Have I mentioned I don't like cold?! Okay, just making sure.

Luckily I have no where I HAVE to be today. So I'm here blogging, because really I want to, and because dude, once a week? I should be ashamed of myself! It's not that I haven't had time, because I'll put anything before housework, and the state of my house proves that. I've just been in a funk.

So this job I got? Well, it was sold to me with a bill of sunshine and roses and flexible this and adjustable that. And holy cow the schedule can do yoga. Um, not so much. Yeah, that schedule changes, weekly, practically daily, but not because I want it too. It just does depending on season and shipments and how many people pick up a Valentine's card and decide not to buy it when they get to the wrapping paper and deposit it there. FOR THE LOVE.

For me ... Flexible = good. Not being able to plan = chaos. See I like schedules and planning and lists. When I said flexible schedule I meant I wanted to be able to attend a school meeting or go on a field trip with my kids (or not). I did not want to pass off my kids on my friends, family and have to hire a sitter every time my kids had a school holiday. Dude until 2 weeks ago, I had NEVER PAID for a sitter for my kids. Cause me = cheap. Many friends have watched them. I'm not a freak who's never left her kid's to go out. I just happen to have wonderful family and friends close by.

Where was I? Oh leaving my kids because I have to work. Seriously, the point of working part time was to be HOME with them, right?! I realize Christmas and Valentine's = CARDS! Really I do, which is why I haven't just quit. I know it will slow down. But then my nervous tummy hits when I realize summer = kids home. When I started I thought an hour alone in early in the morning while they vegged in front of the tv and I was at the grocery store around the block would be good for us all. Independence and all that. Now I am realizing even when it's slow, it's going to be more than I anticipated. Plus, the money? Kinda sucks. Which I was totally okay with when the job was blowing smoke up my ass, now not so much.

Let's do the math:
Crappy pay - sitter extortion = grouchy mom
My previously shared track record for getting into a routine + lack of a set schedule = me discombobulated
me discombobulated = disorganized house (more than normal)
grouchy + discombobulated = me in a funk

Yep, that sums it up nicely. I'll be back... when? Your guess is as good as mine.


*I'm still weighing my options. Possibly looking into a different job. More on that later.

Jason is interviewing his readers and being that I am his personal stalker, (I am so, check question #5!) how could I possibly not volunteer?!

Without further ado, my first interview by The Jason Show.

Questions:

1. Should the opportunity arise to have a one-off affair with a person whom you have been lusting after your entire life, and it was this person's last night before they moved to a faraway land and you would never ever see or hear from them again, would you cheat on your partner if you knew that no one would ever find out?

No. First, my partner might not know, but I would, and I have a horribly over active guilty conscience. Second, I think it would ruin the fantasy for me. Unless the someone was Matthew McConaughey, then I reserve the right to change my mind.


2. Do you poop daily? At the same time each day? If so, what time?

When it happens, it happens.


3. Which reality TV star repulses you the most, and why?

Oh there are so many people to choose from. I think I'll go with the women on Flavor of Love who actually let that vile creature, Flava Flav, touch them.

EWWWW! I can not imagine being that desperate to be on tv, or stupid enough to think that would make me famous.

4. Hoover or Bissell or some other model vacuum cleaner, or are your floors tile/wood?

Well, I used to rely on him for most of my heavy cleanup needs.


But now I have to use my Eureka Optima vacuum and Bissel steam mop for the tile.


















5. Why do you stalk Jason and his family?


Well it started with Jason cause he's just so dang hot!
Oh, and his blog is hilarious. Looks and humor, the perfect combination. So then I had to see if his whole family was as good looking and entertaining. I'll be damned they are. And the rest as they say is history.


Want to be part of the interview fun? I will interview you, just follow these instructions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will get to ask them five questions.

Last Football post I swear. The game? Well it was a nail biter until the 4th quarter. Me and my nervous tummy prefer early blowouts. But alls well that ends well.



There's a game tonight. A big game. Some might say HUGE!




I know that you, my lovely readers have very refined taste. So I've decided to appeal to your sophisticated side. I present to you the Gator's fearless leader, Mr. Tim Tebow.


Why he is positively debonair in a suit. And that Heisman doesn't hurt his cosmopolitan image either.


Oh and while searching high and low for some classy pictures of Mr. Tebow I found these too. Not that ya'll are interested in such low-brow entertainment or anything.



Um, where was I again? Oh hell, just watch the game and cheer for my boys, would ya?
Say it with me now:

GO GATORS!

Guess What?

I've been caught cheating on ya'll again. Damn. You know the problem with starting a blog? People actually start to read it. Then they expect you to post. On a regular basis. People like your husband's friends make comments on how you haven't posted anything new lately. To him. Then your husband makes a remark about how you haven't been blogging. And you say, "Hey I've been busy." And he laughs and says "With Facebook?" Shit, cold busted! Because as much as I'd like to blame the holidays and work and life. They really aren't responsible for my lack of posting. The black hole of time suck... um Facebook is more addicting than I ever imagined possible.

So here's a recap of what's been going on here lately. You might want to go get a source of caffeine before reading. Really, it's that exciting. Go ahead get a drink, the blog will wait...

The girls were totally spoiled rotten for Christmas, RipStick, castle doll house and ipods, need I list more? I had to work 4 of the 10 weekdays they were off school and 2 of those 10 days were holidays. That leaves for a very short break, one that actually left us wanting more. And guess what? They have a 4 day weekend next weekend. Causing me again to ask, who the HELL plans our school calendar?

Brian's department has pared down it's options for flex days. They are still working four 10 hour days with one day off, but they are alternating each quarter between Monday and Thursday. Guess which day Brian got? Not Monday. Tomorrow will be his first Thursday off. I'm skeptical. Oh and guess which two days of the week I usually work? Go ahead, guess.

Speaking of work. I survived Christmas. And the aftermath. You know what the aftermath of Christmas is in the card industry? Go ahead, guess. Valentine's Day. I swear the day after Christmas I put up Valentine's cards. And you know, everyone complains about how early it is, but damned if people weren't looking at them as I was putting them up!

My newest tv obsession, since everything has been reruns over the holidays, has actually been Hulu. I am almost finished watching Season 3 of Party of Five. I wanted to start watching from the beginning, but they only have Season 3 online. Why season 3? Your guess is as good as mine. Anyone have Season 1 or 2? Want to loan them to me? I'll pay shipping. Seriously contact me, I need my Matthew Fox, the early years, fix.

Guess what I'm doing today. Go ahead. I'll give you a hint. It starts with face and ends with book. NO not just hanging out online. I'm meeting an old friend, one I have reconnected with online. She lives in a city about 45 minutes from here and works only 20 minutes from me. So we are doing lunch today. See that Facebook isn't a total waste of time.

Oh yeah, one last little thing. Guess who's playing in the NCAA Football National Championship? Yep, that's right my alma mater!


Just in case you aren't much into NCAA Football, this is the match up tomorrow night!

And if you still could care less, then maybe the fact that the Gator team is lead by this guy... could convince you to cheer for the GATORS?! I don't know about you , but ...
That reminds me, it's time to shop for some new Gator Gear! Later Gators!

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