Rules For Puppies
- The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
- I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
- I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
- I will not roll on dead birds, fish, rodents, etc.
- "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
- And should I forget, I will not lick my human's face after eating "Kitty box crunchies".
- The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
- I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose against her bottom end.
- I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
- I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
- When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
- We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
- I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
- The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
- I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
Labels: Thoughtful Quotes
Yeah, yeah. Tomorrow I am officially having my last birthday. I will be 39 forevah! And you know what I get to do on my birthday? Get my driver's license renewed. In person . At the DMV. I KNOW! My hubby has the world's oldest license (rat bastard), like before the photos were digital (possibly before there were photos, I'm pretty sure it just has an artist's rendering), and his doesn't expire until 2013. I renewed mine online 6 years ago and I have to go stand in line on my birthday. Yes, I could've done it earlier this month, but then what would I have to bitch about? And you know what I have to do before I get my new license? Work.
The American Kennel Club has decided to recognize these new breeds of dogs that are the result of cross breeding:
Collie + Lhaso Apso: Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport.
Spitz + Chow Chow: Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up alot.
Bloodhound + Borzoi: Bloody Bore, a dog that's not much fun.
Pointer + Setter: Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.
Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier: Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries.
Pekingese + Lhaso Apso: Peekasso, an abstract dog.
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever: Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists.
Newfoundland + Basset Hound: Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisers.
Terrier + Bulldog: Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes.
Bloodhound + Labrador: Blabrador, a dog that barks incessantly.
Malamute + Pointer: Moot Point, owned by...oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway.
Collie + Malamute: Commute, a dog that travels to work.
Deerhound + Terrier: Derriere, a dog that's true to the end.
Poodle + Min Pin: PooPin, a dog for constipated people.
Originally found here.
Labels: Thoughtful Quotes
As if I didn't love him enough on Top Chef, now he's doing a Diet Coke commercial?! Does anyone else find him attractive? Just me? Okay, we'll here's the ad in case you haven't seen it yet.
I love to name things, kids, pets, other peoples' kids and pets. So yes, I am currently busy naming a dog that hasn't even been born yet. We all have our hobbies.
Anyway, it shouldn't surprise you to hear I have had 2 dog names picked out for quite some time. I wasn't even going to entertain other ideas for this non-existent dog. But did I mention my fascination with names yet?