Thought for Today

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Rules For Puppies

  • The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
  • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
  • I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
  • I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
  • I will not roll on dead birds, fish, rodents, etc.
  • "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
  • And should I forget, I will not lick my human's face after eating "Kitty box crunchies".
  • The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
  • I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose against her bottom end.
  • I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
  • I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
  • When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
  • We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
  • I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
  • The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
  • My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  • I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

4 comments:

Oh no he did not! to your last one. That deserves its own post.

May 30, 2009 at 6:16 PM  

Jenn, I copied this from the same place I got the dog list last week. Luckily that never happened to me! LOL!

May 30, 2009 at 7:58 PM  

Ha! Good luck enforcing these rules!

May 31, 2009 at 12:38 PM  

That's too good. The most important rule for all dogs (puppies included): dogs are OUTSIDE animals.

June 1, 2009 at 1:36 PM  

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