For the Love of Pete...

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. ~Andy Rooney

I always agreed with this statement until recently. See our black lab, was born the week we got married. In case you missed my Wedding post, that is this week, 14 years ago. This dog, he was our baby. Before we had babies. And with the birth of each child he has graciously accepted his inevitable change in station. He has allowed children to sit on him, pull on his ears, dress him up, and make him do tricks for treats. He desperately tried to keep his dignity, but it's hard when a two year old is making you "preny" with mardi gras beads. This amazingly gentle and obedient animal has certainly seen better days. I keep looking it up, the numbers do not change, the average life span of a labrador retriever is 10 to 12 years. We have already gotten more time than most.

I worked for a veterinarian in high school. My parents are on dog #3 in my lifetime. I held the dog I grew up with as we put her to sleep before I left for college. We knew my dad couldn't do it, and it was well past time. I always said I would know and willingly let go. I always just thought it would be obvious that it was time to let go. And of course I hoped he would just painlessly go to sleep and not wake up. Never did I want to imagine that we would have questions as to when to do the right thing.

Two summers ago when I took him in for annual shots so he could be boarded while we took our annual beach vacation. The vet told me he had a bunch of grape sized tumors on his belly. And these were not like the fatty tumor on his side. They were probably cancer. The vet and I talked about what if any course of action we would take. We agreed at 12 years old that going under anesthesia to remove the tumors was dangerous, and of course there was no guarantee that surgery would get all the cancer either. He did not seem to be in pain, so it was decided to just let things run their course. The vet told me to talk to my kids about losing him, as she didn't think we had more than a year left. Did I mention that was 2 years ago? That old man is of hardy stock I tell ya.

A year ago when we left for our annual summer beach vacation we really thought that would be the last time we would have to ask our wonderful friends to dog sit for us. Boarding him, stresses him out in his old age, it is easier on him to let him stay home. Surely he wouldn't be around the next time we left on vacation. Yet there he was, tired, but still eating and going outside to do his business over Spring Break when we planned a 10 day trip to Texas. Once again our great friends stepped up, split the days in half and came over 3 times a day to let the old man out.

Now we are once again getting ready for our annual summer beach vacation and he's still with us. But this year it's different. He is really showing his age. He has better days and bad days, but I'm just wondering if he's had enough? His quality of life is minimal, he really can't play because of his arthritis, so no one even tries anymore. Seeing as the last couple of baths have stressed him so much, we obviously don't bathe him often which means he's stinky. He asks to go outside, a lot, often just to turn around and bark to come back in. All of which are a nuisance, and he is the epitome of a good dog, trying to please at all times. I can see in his eyes that he is sad and it makes me sad.

For KBHR I know the worst is not being able to make it outside to do his business. And in the last month he's had a few accidents in the house. I could count on one hand how many times that dog has relieved himself inside, ever, in 14 years... until recently. Even when we brought him home as a 10 week old puppy an I tried to paper train him. The pup, he LAUGHED at me! The crazy lady wanted him to pee inside the house? The hell?! He stood at the door until I opened it, lifted his leg on the bush by the porch and proudly pranced back inside. That's my boy!

The truth of the matter? I feel guilty even thinking about it, much less discussing it with hubby. Has he just become a burden? After all he has loved us all unconditionally for 14 years. We should be able to put up with the inconvenience of his old age, right? I was of course googling info and found this which helps me a little.

"For the more general question of how to you tell when the time has come for
euthanasia, I think that most clients really reach a point where they
aren't questioning when the time will come or whether the time is right,
they just know that it is. Some clients (and me, unfortunately) reach this
decision only after their pet has shown clear signs of severe pain, total
inability to eat or other severe signs that are hard to miss. Other
clients reach this time when the pet becomes inconvenient to care for or
when pain and suffering are chronic but not severe. In the overall scheme
of things the difference in timing is usually so short that I think very
few people make really bad decisions. It is a time to trust your instincts.
You will probably know exactly when the time has come."

Right now he still has an appetite and sometimes I still see a small spark of our boy. Who knows, maybe we'll get another year? So Drama and Star, I know you are reading and you all know you'll be getting the email soon asking you to take care of the animals while we are gone. Right?

I saw over at Jenn's place that today was open house. And I went to check out the source. Sure enough Mrs. G at Derfwad Manor had invited everyone to share the heart of their home.

Well, I just love to host a good shin dig. But we were so busy today I'm just now getting around to inviting everyone over. Making me once again late to the party, but I've got makings for dessert and I always have wine. So come on in and join me for the nickel tour.

When you come in our front door, you are in our living room. We used to have a coffee table in the expanse in front of the couch. Then we got a Wii for Christmas. Gotta have priorities.
Brian painted both the horse pictures. To the left is a horse collar and an old cash register (on the rehomed coffee table) that belonged to his grandfather.

Note the old dog in the doorway, this is where he always lays as he is not allowed on the carpet, so he gets as close as he can.My live, laugh, love sign above the mud bench was a present from my hubby. We lived here about 3 years before I found what I wanted to put there.
Here's our kitchen literally and figuratively, the heart of our house. Have a seat at the bar and I'll get you a glass of wine. And we can watch the kids play in the family room from here.

They can check out a book from one of our many libraries, draw at the desk or play with the critters in the cage in the corner.
Or if they like they can feed the chinchilla a cheerio, watch tv or play on the computer that is hiding in the armoire. The Ranch sign was from Brian's other grandfather, shhh, don't tell Sweet Niblets what they raised those chinchillas for. The other two signs say, "Love doesn't make the world go round, it just makes the ride worthwhile." and "Housework never killed anyone, but why take the chance?"

If you look to the left from your seat at the bar you can see our dining area. The living room is supposed to be living/dining room, but not for us. This is where we eat. And this is how I love to see the table, with the leaf out and full of family!
We have lots of plant shelves full of antiques. I'm not about the antiques though, just these particular pieces because they all from Brian's family. That's his grandmother's sewing machine and the milk jug was his dad's when he was a kid on the farm, and the big wooden piece is some type of sausage making bowl.
This is Breanna's bed. You can no longer actually see the floor in there. But I had to show you her bed because we designed and built it. Okay Brian built it, but Bre helped plan it and I did all the sewing.
And of course we couldn't have made Breanna such a cool bed without doing the same for Brooke. Again Brooke helped design, daddy built, mommy painted and sewed.
Last but not least the master bedroom. The bed is comfy and cozy. The room is dark, cool, quiet and I love it.

Now that you've had a look around make yourself at home. Take off your shoes and stay for awhile.

Brian and I met as kids at church. We grew up and joined Luther League, our church's youth group. I spent many a day following around the cute cool boys in the group. And they let me follow them around because I was an easily entertained audience for their antics. As previously mentioned, I moved when I started high school. But we did not forget each other. And eventually we fell in love and got engaged. Naturally we wanted to get married in the church we met in.
Okay, lets back up just a bit. After we got engaged my parents, the ever the practical ones, told us they had X amount of dollars set aside for us. We were to use the money however we wanted, for our wedding and honeymoon or, they not so subtly hinted, we could possibly use the money for a down payment on a house. Ding, Ding, Ding! We have a winner! We still laugh about how we took the money and ran. No, we didn't elope, we had a small wedding, in a church, on a budget. And when I say small I mean maid of honor, best man, and flower girl. And when I say on a budget I mean practically for free.
My mother bought my dress off the sale rack in a store by her house in Texas (remember the trend here?) and shipped it to me. It fit with no alterations. My maid of honor wore a dress out of her closet, that was the same style as my dress. And my niece was my flower girl. She wore the dress I wore in her mother's wedding 18 years before in the same church. Cool, huh?

We wanted to get married on July 4th. I don't really remember why, other than I thought it would sound good to be married on July 4th, 1994. And Brian said it would be easy to remember. But the 4th was a Monday. So we got married on Saturday the 2nd in order to take advantage of the long weekend, so that we had an extra day for our honeymoon without using vacation time. Hey we were young and poor, and we were buying a house with our new found riches. So the honeymoon? She was on a budget too. Speaking of cheaping out, we got married at 2pm because the Pastor told us that we wouldn't be expected to provide much food at our -immediately following the service in the fellowship hall- reception at that hour. Did I mention we were young and poor?

We also planned the entire wedding in about 4 weeks. Breanna wasn't born until 1999, quit counting! Now about the time we announced our wedding plans my FIL got married. Again. For the 4th or was it 5th time? In South Carolina. On a Tuesday. Who the hell gets married on a Tuesday? Both bride and groom had more than one previous wedding under their belts, but that didn't stop them from having a hell of a shin dig this time around. And Bridezilla was determined to be in charge of every tiny detail. We did learn a valuable lesson from them: the more intricate your plans the more things there are to go wrong. So on our trip home the conversation went like this "I'll be at the church at 2" "Okay, I'll see ya at 2" And that was about the extent of the planning we did for our wedding.

At that time Brian and I had been *whisper* living together for over a year. I am not kidding when I say it is known, but to this day we do not speak of it around my family. Since we did not get married here in Orlando, we spent the night before in hotel rooms with our respective parents.

Just in case the spiral perm and large eyeglasses don't date my photos enough, I left these 2 in the puffy fabric frame they have been in since 1994 for added emphasis.

I do remember Brian telling me afterwards that he and his best man snagged a bottle of champagne, from the stash for the reception, which they shared with my father before the service. I of course was sequestered with my maid of honor. Can't see the bride before the wedding and all that nonsense. Apparently we are so old we were married in the dark ages.

So then we were all there at 2pm. The Pastor told of how we met in that church, which was a really personal touch we weren't expecting. Then there were a few bible passages about love thrown in for maximum effect. And... face each other to exchange vows.

Then the main double doors to the church open flooding the church with the Florida summer sunlight. To reveal? The FIL and his wife, late as always. LOVELY! I suppose entering by a side door well after the time stated on the invite was too obvious? Did I mention we had just been to their wedding, on a TUESDAY?! Oh and a bit of back story on why the man was already on my short list. My FIL had previously told Brian, his son, he was supposed to go to the Pepsi 400 the weekend of our wedding for work, no he isn't a race car driver he's a used car salesman. And who the hell says he is might have to miss his son's wedding for a NASCAR race? When I heard that I told Brian to tell his father he planned on only getting married once and this would be his only chance to attend his son's wedding. Oh and I may have added a little stipulation about if he missed our wedding he would NEVER get to meet any future grandchildren. Now where was I?

Something, something, something... until death. You may kiss the bride. And snap, like that we became grown ups ready to file a joint tax return.
Big tip for a wedding on a shoestring, do not hire a photographer. We had a friend of ours take the obligatory group pictures as a wedding gift. And back in 1994, before everyone was putting disposable cameras on every table at the reception, we encouraged all our guests to bring their own cameras and take pictures. Friends and family all gave us a set of their prints, I honestly think we have more wedding photos than most people. Well, people who got married before the era of digital cameras anyway.
I bought pink roses to carry and we had fresh roses on our cake. Both were inexpensive, simple, and elegant. And two of my favorite parts of our little makeshift wedding.

Somehow we ended up having two receptions. The planned one at the church fellowship hall, where we ate cake and drank champagne punch with our friends and parent's friends. Where my sorority sisters gathered together and surprised us by singing us the Alpha Chi Sweetheart song.
This picture is in a frame in my living room. It's my favorite wedding photo. I am such a sap.

Down deep in the heart of each Alpha Chi girl
Is the dream of a love that is true.
He’s loving and kind and he’ll always be faithful
And somewhere he’s waiting for you.
You’ll dream and you’ll plan;
Then someday he will come
And he’ll make all your dreams live anew.
He’ll share every trouble, make every joy double
An Alpha Chi Sweetheart is true.


Then afterwards someone suggested we go out for drinks and dinner. And all our friends followed in hot pursuit of alcohol.
Those are party poppers they are shooting and they created the exact effect I hoped in our pictures.

We took over an entire corner of Chili's and were there through 2 shifts of waitresses. I honestly do not remember much, seeing as someone else was buying our drinks all night. But I do look damn happy in all the photos.
What I do remember was needing to "borrow" my pillow from our hotel room to ease the pain of my hangover on our drive home the next morning. We picked up our gifts our friends had driven back to Orlando for us. We opened them at our charming little duplex in the ghetto. Okay so we were mainly looking for the cash. Then we headed for the coast to honeymoon. Again we had no plan. We drove until we found a cute little hotel right on the beach with in room jacuzzi's.

The rest is as they say history, and in 6 days we will be celebrating 14 years, we must have done something right.

Head on over to Saucy's Place and join in the bloggy celebration.



Snaps if you can name the movie quote.
*There are certain words that my mom finds too horrible to utter so she whispers them.
You'll get used to it.

Don't say I didn't warn you! Our lives are much like the weather this week, same shit, different day. So I got nothing for you today.

But, you can consider this your engraved invitation to:
Stop by tomorrow for "A Wedding Story". I promise pictures of pictures from 1994* for your mocking enjoyment.

*spiral perm included