For the Love of Pete...

~~~~~

Rules For Puppies

• The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
• I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
• I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
• I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
• I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
• I will not roll on dead birds, fish, rodents, etc.
• "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
• And should I forget, I will not lick my human's face after eating "Kitty box crunchies".
• The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
• I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose against her bottom end.
• I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
• I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
• When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
• We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
• I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
• The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
• My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
• I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.