New Car Part 2, Part 3, and Part 'Dear Pete Will This Shit Ever End'?

I tried to be understanding, I bought the car at night, we didn't see the dirty seats, and Greg Salesman promised to do whatever I wanted to get them cleaned. My choices? Take the car back to Lakeland and let them clean it or have it done here and he would reimburse me. Now I totally trusted he would pay me back, but I decided to take it back to the dealer for clean up, just in case. Apparently I have keen foresight people! You won't friggin believe!

But let's back up, you deserve the whole story. It's just not as freakin fun without the back story. First their was the joy of purchasing BritBrit. Yes, I have named the car. She is not a minivan, not yet an SUV. Confused just like Britney Spears (and looks like she could use a shower) you know the song "Not a girl, not yet a woman". The hilarity of 3rd row seating is optional was apparently just the beginning of what will surely turn out to be an epic story. I just pray it will not turn into a greek tragedy!

So back to cleaning the dirty seats. Obviously since my days resemble that of a mother of a newborn, with the 3 hour block timing the only day a 1.5 hour one way trip would be taking place was Saturday. My oldest had a Girl Scout outing at the halfway point. So in my infinite wisdom I planned to drop her off at 10am, take my sidekick with me and head to Lakeland. I had my SIL planning to meet us about 11am to shop and go to lunch. I was told to give 2 hours for the detailing. We would be home well before dinner. Oh optimistic me! First, Breanna's Troop Leader was 45 mins. later than she told the moms to be. What the hell? After I finally had my daughter in capable albeit late hands off Brookie and I went. Of course we couldn't turn left out of the parking lot, and the traffic was horrible. (Anyone who's never driven anywhere in Kissimme, FL imagine Hell only hotter and with more tourists!) Little did I realize this was foreshadowing of the way the rest of the day would go! We finally, after a pee pit stop, were back on the road again.

Did you all know it's time for Spring Training? Well, me neither until I got to Lakeland. My big clues? The horrible traffic when we got caught in the line of thousands of cars trying to turn left into the parking lot at Joker Marchant Stadium in Lakeland. By the time I got to the dealer in Lakeland it was after noon. Remember I was going to meet my SIL at 11am? Lucky for us the one thing we could count on yesterday was Aunt Michelle! Oh how we love Aunt Michelle! I can't even begin to imagine the hell I would've had to endure had she not taken pity on us!

After some reminding of who the hell I was. Oh did I forget to mention Greg Salesman wasn't in yesterday? Of course it wouldn't have made much of a difference in the final out come. (I know you are dying to know what happened. Stick with me just a bit longer... ) We went to lunch and shopping with my SIL, I got 2 cute shirts and 2 cute shirts for my MIL's birthday all for $27. Woo hoo bargains! I guess ONE thing went my way! Little Brookie got to buy a few things at the Target dollar aisle and I bought her a new pair of sunglasses for being so good all day! Really that kid is an amazing little side kick, guess that's the life of the 2nd child who's just been dragged around on errands her whole life. While shopping Josh Customer Service (soon to be know as man who wishes he'd never met me or BritBrit) calls and says your car is finished. Woo Hoo! We will still make it home before dinner.

Sos I get to loading my kid's car seat and all our packages into my shiny car, and I looks at the seats and damn, they haven't been touched! There is still brown goo in the side pockets. Well HELL they detailed only the outside! Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck, Aunt Michelle is already gone! So I gos inside and drag Josh Customer Service out of what I am sure was an important meeting of bored ass salesman eating chips (yes that's what they were doing, glass walls and all) And I shows him dirty ass seats and doors. Oh yes, he will take it over himself and make sure they work quick because he knows kids get bored waiting at the car dealership. Yeah, I'm sure it was us he was thinking of us not how a bored kid could ruin his quiet afternoon eating chips. Thank Pete Brookie is such a self entertainer that she doesn't need much to be happy. At the dealership she was perfectly happy to run up and down the same 3 stairs over and over again.

I hear the phone ring in Josh Customer Service's office, some hemming and hawing, and then, "well I have got to do something to make her happy". Oh dear PETE this can not be good. He comes over and tells me he has bad news, they "melted" my seat with the steamer while attempting to clean it. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Where are the cameras? And Ashton, where is he? I'd like to meet him, he's hot! Who knew I was famous and thus must be getting PUNKED? Nope, not kidding me. He was heading over to check the damage and would be back. More waiting, we found the room with the tv. Brookie now very tired from her stairmaster workout is happy to veg and watch Scooby Doo. The non-fat assed and actually good looking finance guy comes by and asks why in the name of all that is holy am I STILL here? I tell him of the "melted" seat and he says, looks like you'll be getting new seats. Sucks that you live so far away though. EXACTLY what I was thinking DUDE! This was supposed to be my last trip to deal with this shit. Damnit!

Josh now regretting the day he ever met this customer Service comes back to show me the "melted" seat which looks more like someone chewed it. Of course it's a weekend and there is NOTHING they can do about it, but Monday he will get on getting me a new seat etc. etc. etc. we'll give you a loaner to drive, don't worry, blah, blah, blah. This is where I decide to remind him I LIVE IN ORLANDO YOU DIPSHIT!

Here's how he left things. He is planning to have someone drive me a loaner take my car install new seat and bring back to me, so I don't have to make the trip again. He'll be in touch Monday.

The back seats never got cleaned they started on the front seat they ruined. So tomorrow I will be demanding not only the new front seat but that they go ahead and replace the seat cushions in the middle row too. They couldn't get the front seat right, they don't get the chance to do the others. REPLACE THEM ALL and skip the inevitable, we couldn't get them clean step, for Pete's Sake! And I expect pickup and delivery of my car. Oh and did I mention we are headed on a ROAD TRIP in 11 days and a major national holiday falls in between now and then?! Yah, I hear you internets, Good Luck with that Josh Customer Service!

From the beginning I joked I would like all new seats, preferably installed after the big Road Trip to Texas.

ps We got home in time for dinner, only because Breanna and Brian waited for us.


Why can't things ever happen the way they're supposed to happen? I hope you get all new seats installed before Easter.

March 16, 2008 at 2:35 PM  

OMG.....there are no words. So sorry. What a pain in the ass. Did I mention I hate car dealerships. I am sure all will turn out well if they don't suck all the blood from your brain first.

March 16, 2008 at 3:26 PM  

Just showed hubby your car-scapade. He votes that they give you a new one LOL

March 16, 2008 at 7:40 PM  

I know I shouldn't be but I am laughing, not at you I promise..with you...oh wait, you probably aren't laughing! :)

March 16, 2008 at 9:57 PM  

Um, that would be what we refer to as laughing near you, in our house! HA!
Really, it would be hard to get anymore ridiculous. I'm fairly certain this could be a sitcom, at the very least a Fox special "When Steam Cleaning Goes Wrong".

March 16, 2008 at 10:15 PM  

Oh, you are so much nicer than me. Josh Customer Service would've been pulling seats out of one of the cars on the floor and putting them in my car. I have caused more than one scene at a dealership in my day :)

March 17, 2008 at 8:27 AM  

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