An Open Letter

To the Parents in the Carline:

I don't know why your precious can not sit on the sidewalk with the other 200+ children and wait for you to drive through and pick them up. Why must you park and walk up to get them? It's a mystery to me. What I do know is that I am not in any way moving or getting out of your way when you are ready to leave and I am still waiting to pick up my child. I'm looking at you dude in the gas guzzling white truck. I'll be damned if I'm letting you screw with the flow of traffic. If you sat here like the rest of us you wouldn't be stuck in that parking space. If we all did as you do, there would be over 200 parents trying to park in 50 spots. Think Open House, wasn't that fun?

And parents who bike with their children to school. Kudos to you. Now get the hell off the street and get on the sidewalk. Mom with the duosport trailer, I see you. If you are waiting on your slow ass child, move over to the grass. And if your child uses more than one hand to show how many they are, meet them at the freakin' corner. They manage to navigate the school all by themselves all day long without you. I think they can get to the crossing guard alone, thus freeing up the valuable sidewalk space for other students and parents of kindergartners.

Hey you, yeah, You! Parent in the first car, who gets to school one hour before dismissal and sets pace for us. What the hell? Do you have nothing better to do with your time? An hour? Really? Is your child that insecure that you couldn't be say, 3rd in line? Or maybe you are watching porn on your ipod? Nosey parents need to know.

Oh and do any of you know who designed our school? The school board or a building committee? No? Well, have you noticed the bike racks on the wrong side of the school? Had they been positioned on south side those bike riders wouldn't have to navigate the sidewalk while the car riders are getting organized and seated. Apparently no one thought to consult me. Too bad, I could've saved everyone this particular pain in the ass.

Last but definitely not least impatient parent behind me in the left turn lane into the school driveway. I do not have the right of way! We are all waiting to pick up our kids. There is no need to honk at me to turn, when there is NO WHERE to go! Simmer down back there already.

The school year is half over, let's work together here people!

From: A mom who is hoping her kids start walking home from school soon.


When I do this I categorize these thoughts as, "If I were God." My favorite as of late is that loud mufflers -- those designed to *make* noise, not muffle it -- should be outlawed ... right after boom-boom stereos in cars.


January 30, 2009 at 5:12 PM  

ha-ha! And, those impatient people who "honk" like that's going to suddenly turn the earth off it's axis and everyone will roll off to the side and give the "honker" the right away...

Seriously... :-)

January 30, 2009 at 11:43 PM  

Car line makes me insane! I'm just catching up with blogs this week because I have also been in a funk. And the more I catch up with people (via blog or real time), I find that we are ALL feeling the funk. Come on Spring!

January 31, 2009 at 11:07 AM  

OMG, peeing my pants here! Can I tell you that EVERYONE at our school does that "park and walk to pick up" routine? It is a freaking nightmare. I am one of those neglectful moms who (gasp) let my kids bike all alone, the whole 3/4 of a mile to school on nice days.

January 31, 2009 at 7:57 PM  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Just some of the many reasons I avoid the carpool lane at all costs. I'm so thankful my kids can get on a bus to come home.

February 4, 2009 at 12:45 PM  

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