Open Letter

Dear Magic Kingdom guests and employees,

Yesterday was a day of magic, hubby and I took our girls for a fun trip to Disney World. I understand (trust me I do) that not everyone thinks Disney is the Happiest Place on Earth *GASP* but if you have decided to make the investment and get a 2nd mortgage on your house in order to visit, maybe you could just play along.

Woman with sullen teen daughter complaining loudly about the very nice food service employee at Ariel's Grotto, who greeted my "little Princess" and sincerely wished my older daughter a Happy Birthday, the one who "ignored" you and went to help the people in line at his own register. Yes, you Ma'am, I am sure you must have been about to go into a diabetic coma with out the immediate relief a frozen Coca-Cola. And surely you are new to the Disney experience because 2 minutes in line for food will be the fastest line of the day for you.

And, you, yes all of you. Dads, moms and grandparents in Ariel's Grotto. I am guessing I must have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, surely it was a designated time for kids who can not walk on their own to play in the water and I did not notice the sign. I realize it surely must be a long day for you, what will all that hovering over your precious children who can't even play on a level surface without your help. Too bad those benches right around the perimeter of the play area were not an option for you. See my daughter, who is very independent was having a great time cooling off in the water spouts, which should have given me the much needed rest on a bench in the shade where I could watch her. But instead I had to stand up and walk around, while holding my purse with camera and sunscreen, plus my requisite bucket of pop corn, water bottle and my daughter's shoes, because I could not see around you all standing in the 6 ft expanse of space between the benches and the play area, directly in my line of sight.

Don't think I missed you, parents of the little girls coming out of the Bippity, Boppity, Boo Salon. You, oh you got ripped off. And you are doing no one any favors by over indulging your little brats.... um princesses. Really, $250 for a cheap princess costume, some sparkly makeup and a fancy hair do is excessive to say the least. I promise you that will not keep them from whining while waiting in line for 40 minutes to ride Peter Pan. Not to mention what will these girls have to look forward to in the future? Prom is going to be such a huge let down after this.

Family with the lovely little girl throwing herself over the chain barriers, apparently trying to give her self a concussion, to get your attention, in line for Peter Pan. Where were you going that you thought you wouldn't have to stand in a line at the Magic Kingdom? Really? Because I'd like to go to the secret rides with no lines. Mom, you told someone you'd not moved in line for 30 minutes. Was it really that long? Clearly the heat and standing was too much for you and you bolted. If you had just held on a few minutes more your little girl, who was waiting rather patiently while sitting on the dirty ground *GASP*, would have gotten to fly with Peter Pan. How do I know this? Because within 5 minutes of your bailing we did. Of course your watch that you must have purchased on that island on LOST would have told you we waited another 30 minutes with out moving.

Woman in line with various black and missing teeth. Perhaps a few trips to the dentist instead of a trip to Disney with the family next year? Just sayin...

Last, but definitely not least, not so very helpful employees on Splash Mountain. You KNOW who you are. You make Walt Disney cry, right there under Cinderella's Castle where everyone knows he's really buried. Hey, next time would it kill you to pick up a bit before you invite us back into the depths of your ride? Oh, and maybe cutting the music when the rest of the ride has halted, for some unexplainable reason, would make the guests, especially those of us not so much loving "the laughing place, the laughing place, the laughing place, the laughing place, the laughing place..." a bit less irritable. Also, perhaps an explanation of what exactly it was that "Brer Bear and Brer Rabbit were doing down river" to turn off the ride right before we got to the big waterfall would have been nice. We'd all sincerely like to thank you for the unguided tour of the back of Splash Mountain and for the loss of an hour of our day we will never ever get back. If you think that super duper fast pass was an equitable consolation prize I'd like some of whatever you've been drinking.

So to all of you thank you. Thank you for giving much fodder for my blog.

ps Stay tuned for the next installment of Open Letters, because it wasn't all bad!


I DO love Disneyland enough to mortgage our house, and so I understand the angst you feel when those around you are not appreciative.

I'm a little afraid that the next time we go, I'll be less attentive to my family and more fixated on blog fodder...(Not that there's anything wrong with that! It's irresistable, and fun for the readers :)).

April 27, 2008 at 4:15 PM  

Just got Bitter Is the New Black from the lib--thanks for posting it on your shelf! Loving it.

April 27, 2008 at 5:09 PM  

Oh boy.

I think I'll rush right out and change my itinerary for June after reading this ;-)

April 27, 2008 at 6:12 PM  

It just never ceases to amaze me how miserable people at Disney World can be. I mean you'd think after spending all that money they'd make an effort to enjoy themselves. It has just become our running family joke when we see such people to comment about being in the Happiest Place on Earth. Hee hee!

And we really did all have fun. Seeing it all through the kids' eyes makes it all magical again. Even to us jaded old folks.

Oh and I'm working on my thank you letter to all the nice people for tomorrow's blog.

April 27, 2008 at 6:28 PM  

Aaah, Disney. The quintessential American experience.

April 28, 2008 at 12:34 AM  

Lady with the various missing/black teeth....

TOO FUNNY and SO true!

April 28, 2008 at 8:19 AM  

If I had actually posted about our trip to Disney on New Years Eve I would direct you to it. Some day maybe I will when I can't think of anything to post about. :) It was almost all bad... so much so that Disney actually gave us new passes to come back another time. Don't ever go on New Years Eve... it's evidently the busiest day and all the Disney employees are irritated and mean.

At least you got a great blog out of it. ;)

April 28, 2008 at 9:43 AM  

Reminds me of the parents who yell stuff like: "have fun you ungrateful little shit, we are at Disneyland."


April 28, 2008 at 5:42 PM  

Woman in line with various black and missing teeth. Perhaps a few trips to the dentist instead of a trip to Disney with the family next year? Just sayin...
hahahaha crack me up! Um, she was probably from the town I live in ( I wasn't born or raised here though!) where going to the dentist is not a priority.

April 29, 2008 at 8:23 AM  

We're heading to Disney in October . . . my first time since I was 12 . . . my hubby and kids' first times ever. I'm SOOO thankful that my kids are independent and patient and great travelers . . . of course they are still kids, which means they ask for stuff and we say no, but no fits, no hovering, no sobbing, and no $250 kiddie makeovers. Any tips for a first-timer?

May 1, 2008 at 11:14 AM  

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