Yes, Daddy Too...

Nothing better to get you laughing than a little "girl talk".

So the subject of why boys and girls are different comes up this afternoon with the girls.

Me: Bre tell your little sister what makes boys and girls different.
Bre: Well sometimes boys...
Me: The ONE thing that always makes boys and girls different.
Two completely blank faces starting at me.
Me: Girls have...
Now we are playing charades as I indicate my chest.
Me: Bre what do girls have?
Bre: Mom, make Brooke say it. (apparently when you are 9 you can not talk about such things)
Brooke: Boobies! (Brooke however, she can't wait to have a pair of her very own!)
Me: Right, boys don't have boobies, what do they have?
Again with the blank faces. Now both girls have had close male friends since they were in diapers and while potty training, so they have seen one before.
Me: Hint, boys can pee standing up.
More blank stares.
Me: Boys have penises.
Brooke: That's why they can pee standing? But they sit to poop, right?
Me (able to keep the laughter to myself): Yes, they sit to poop.
Breanna (to Brooke): That's why boys and girls have different potties at school.
Brooke (after some serious thought): All boys have a penis?
Me: Yes, all boys. (oh dear I see the gears in her head moving as she processes this nugget of information)
Brooke: Even Daddy?
Me: Yes.
Brooke: Daddy has a penis?
Me: Yes. (I can tell she's really thinking about this)
Brooke: (in all of her 5 year old wide eyed innocence) Wow, daddy's must be really big... huge... humongous.
Me (trying not to choke laughing while changing the direction of her thoughts) Yep, big boys, grown ups have them too.
Brooke (have I mentioned that this child can not be stopped when on a roll?): Daddy must have a big penis, really big.
At this point I am practically in tears, hiding behind the microwave in the kitchen barely able to speak for the stifled laughter.
Me: Maybe we shouldn't tell daddy we were talking about his penis. This is what we call "girl talk".

Of course I told him tonight after the girls were in bed. And he did see the humor in the conversation. Although, I am fairly certain he considered my tears of laughter over the size of his member a bit much. So let's just keep this little post between us, mmm- kay? Just a little "blog talk".


Buy a chastity belt now, put it on, lock it, throw away the key!!!!! For the freaking love......

June 6, 2008 at 8:53 AM  

I won't tell.

June 6, 2008 at 9:18 AM  


I love those conversations! Of course I torture the sprog by saying the word "masturbation", it's awesome.

June 6, 2008 at 10:05 AM  

That is rich.

My husband is certain the best way to discourage premarital sex is to go into detail when telling our kids how we do it - complete & utter buzzkill of a visual in the moment, no?

But it seems your 5-year old might be immune to that tactic...

June 6, 2008 at 10:33 AM  

LOL! That is TRULY hilarious. I'm sure I would have been dying laughing as well!

June 6, 2008 at 11:35 AM  

Brian has a penis?

June 6, 2008 at 5:22 PM  

OMG. Now THAT is funny! Remember that one time that Madeline tried to pee "standing up like daddy"? Good times, good times...

June 7, 2008 at 7:55 PM  

Very funny. Now they know their dad is a man... and not just a Dad.
Girl talk is the best...good thing you are writing it all down.

June 7, 2008 at 9:21 PM  

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